Dear Daughters of Single Parents

Dear Daughters of Single Parents,

Raised by over-possessive and obsessive parents who always wanted their daughters to be under control, we know what it’s like to tear through the tiny cracks of our cages and break free. Situation is worse for the child of single parents since (s)he witnesses their parents’ real brawls. They not only have to take care of us but also face the struggles society has been framing well for them, single parenting issue was never an issue until society constructed it. Some of us have unmarried mothers, some of us have divorced mothers and the rest have helpless fathers. So, as off-springs of these wonderful misfits in the society, we’re always bound by both, our parents and the ridiculously judgemental society. However, a lot has been changing over the past couple of years. The women’s safety is a matter of debate though, but work opportunities for women are increasing irrespective of the gender biases in every space, problems single mother face in society are endless.
daughter-fatherWe as daughters of single parents need to give our old folk a break and tell them that we have a single parent family which has its own perks. I’m sure they’re doing all that only to keep us safe, secure and happy, but in the process, the obsession of protection that constantly hovers above our head ironically cutting down our freedom to live. The neurotic single parents who continually inspect and execute constant secret examination on every event of our lives, be it good, bad, or just mere frolic.

Regardless of the several single parents who call themselves feminists or agents of women empowerment, their double standards seem to be exposed when it comes to setting down the moral principles for their daughters, regardless of their age and company. Our mindsets are caged, brutally confined to ‘it is a bad world’ and so stay indoors to prevent you from being raped, kidnapped and sold. Our parents are certainly dear to us only until they map out a preposterous repertoire of moral principles which is solely chauvinistic and misogynistic.
daughter-motherHow many of us have parents who treat us like the stereotypical male in the society? How many of us have parents who actually give us the freedom we want? How many of us have parents who seem to be cool in parenting from the outside but are merely restricting our freedom to live? How many of us have parents who allow us to make mistakes and choose our own path in life? How many of us have mothers who don’t call us after the curfew time if we’re late? Well, maybe a handful but not a lot of us right? Well, women’s safety in today’s society is actually a main reason behind such restrictions for us.

We’ve been mocked at, looked down upon and moreover ridiculed by the society due to our parent’s relationship status but only we  know the mountains our parents have climbed and the distressful hardships faced. There are several people, both in the family and others who have pierced and sputtered on us with pity. But we don’t need any pity or bowels of compassion from anybody, regardless who how relevant they are to us in our lives.

For the daughters who have already found freedom, remember that abjuration and relinquishing your parents will serve you nothing but loneliness, guilt and iniquity. Breaking the chains of restriction and confinement of misogyny and patriarchy doesn’t call for abandonment and forsake. For the daughters who are independent and self made, remember that union does not certainly call for detriment, grief and malevolence. It indeed calls for an agreement of settlement feasible for the two. It indeed calls for a coherent understanding, not of compromise or adjustment but to harmonize goals between your life and your parent’s.
daughter-motherDear daughters of single mothers and fathers, let’s stand in unity to not just ask for our freedom but demand for it because we cannot remain caged victims of flightless birds for our wings need air to breathe and room to stretch. Let’s join in oneness for our parents, not abandoning them as we grow, but treating them like how they raised us, with clemency, benevolence, forgiveness and grace. Dear daughters, who crave for independence, let us find exemption from restraint by our intellectual deeds and speech rather than portraying alienation, hostility and abhorrence.

Love,

An Irking Wearisome Daughter

Sonia David is an aspiring Counselling Psychologist pursing her post graduation in Psychology. She is a writer with a pinch of sarcasm and wit who loves writing about social and feminist issue. The ignorance and the insensitive attitude of people towards these issues motivate her and fire her up to act against the same, so she is passionate about writing. She has met many people, heard several stories and is a storyteller through her writing skills. She is also a Zentangle Artist as she finds it relaxing and soothing. She also loves travelling and someday she wishes to travel all around the country and help be a change in shifting the patriarchal mentality.