ARRANGE MARRIAGES as the name suggests are the marriages which are arranged or fixed by parents or elders on the behalf of and/or with the consent of the boy or the girl involved in the marriage. While we are getting modern with the times, the custom of arranged marriages is still prevalent in our society. Majority of marriages in India are arranged marriages. The concept of arrange marriages is no doubt good but I think it has more demerits than the merits. For me it is beyond my belief but for my parents the whole concept is ancestoral , for foreigners it is something they disagree to, obviously because of the cultural boundaries, while for some others it is a primitive, an old-fashioned concept.
Whatever you call it there are some really obnoxious things about these marriages. Here are 10 vexing things about arranged marriages:
#1 THE SELECTION PROCESS
The process of selecting and not choosing a suitable bride/ groom is a very chaotic and irritating process. It involves everything from testing the boy/girl to matching the ‘kundli’. The permutations and combination of stars, the ‘mangalik dosh’, and all other dosh make it look all the more idiotic. It is actually funny than irritating.
#2 FOOL-PROOFING EVERYTHING
If only the selection process wasn’t enough, the match-making is even more worse. Like to make a match one must know the caste , the social status , the background of the whole family(no matter how vast it is) , the character of boy/girl from different sources and even from those who have no idea about the concerned person . All these things are utterly stupid , I mean how can you judge someone you don’t know at all from the talks of other people, it is actually idiotic to do that.
#3 THE INTERVIEW FOR SHORTLISTING THE CANDIDATE
The most irritating part of these marriages is the unnecessary interview taken by the bride/groom parents and not only them the uncles , and the aunties all have this curiosity to ask all the stupid questions. “khana bnana ata h beta? ”, “ghar ka kaam kr leti ho?” and nowadays the bar has raised to the groom asking his would be wife “are you a virgin?” hell !!
#4 WHERE ARE THE BRIDE AND GROOM
Practically the marriage is between the boy and the girl but as it is said it is between two families. So somewhere it becomes vital for the families to be compatible rather than the boy and the girl. Funnily enough the respective bride/groom hardly matter, the uncles, the aunties are more asked for.
#5 THE LAST SAY
After everything is fixed the would be couple is ‘informed’ about their future partners where they are very rarely given any choice. And now they can interact to know each other better and adjust. While the whole thing is relating to them but they are the last people to be informed about their own marriage, like seriously !
#6 THE AGRESSIVE ADVERTISEMENT
The boy/girl are quite literally advertised in the marriage market specially in the arranged one. The girl/boy is are asked to be well-behaved, look beautiful/handsome or rather look good, and be polite to create a decent image in the social gatherings, so that the good offers for marriage come in their way. Nowadays matrimonial are a big help in advertising the prospective groom/bride.
#7 THE DOWRY
The most obnoxious kind of aspect of every marriage is dowry. It is more of a common practice in the arranged marriages. For formality it is said that “oh! We just want your daughter in one cloth”. But nobody can deny that most of the marriages in India involve dowry because these very people burn or kill the bride if not given the DOWRY.
#8 A STRANGER
It is by far the most horrifying thing in arranged marriages. Before marriage we are told to beware of the strangers and then we are married off to a stranger itself. To spend your life with a complete stranger is so not acceptable.
#9 LESS CHOICE MORE SACRIFICE( THE HONOUR)
There is very less scope for choices in an arranged marriage. The options are very limited and you have to compromise with something or the other, though nobody gets it perfect but atleast everyone should have the right to get what they desired atleast a handful.
And then it is THE HONOUR OF THE FAMILY (THE IZZAT, THE REPUTATION ). A girl/boy is expected to make the marriage work anyhow because a broken marriage means the honour of the family (both of the girl’s and that of the boy) is at stake. No matter how many sacrifices you make or how many problems you face it has to work.
#10 THE AFTER EFFECT OF ARRANGE MARRIGES (A CHILD)
THE ADJUSTMENTS AND THE SACRIFICES are a part of the after effects of these marriages but an immediate demand for a baby is all the more stupid. After marriage to a complete stranger you are expected to sleep with him/her and produce a baby as the heir of family. It is actually pathetic!
[author image=”http://www.aapkatimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Alice.jpg” ]I am Alice Sharma student of Ram Lal Anand College, University of Delhi, pursuing B.A Hons in English. I am a literary person, I love to pen down my thoughts, my thoughts help me face every situation in my life. I am fond of reading too.[/author]